It’s true. While lounging at my parents’ house yesterday, I noticed an advertisement for Circuit City which screamed in print that they were selling a number of movies for only $9.99, among which was the above Pride and Prejudice. Now, before any of you girls start teasing me or throwing your well-worn sets of the BBC version on DVD in my general direction, let me explain that I have been charmed by the music in this film. The scenery is lovely, yes, but the music won me over (and, I’ll include, the dancing scenes, because I do so love to dance). That is all we need say about that.
But I was struck while watching the flick, with the sense of propriety and decorum in that age, the guarded speech which occurred between men and women, the “understandings” they may enter into, the very clear non-romance until certain words were spoken between them, the rightness of action until then. Nowadays men and women jabber on toward each other, no? I noticed it even tonight at a small birthday party for a friend–guys and gals coaxing and teasing and making merry with each other, without the same force or intentionality of conversation which existed in the Victorian era. In fact, talk between the sexes may grow easily perverse beyond flirtation in our day, or at the very least may grow overly deep and personal to the point of emotionality which ought not be. “Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires”–but we do our very best to provoke just such affections, don’t we?
I’m in earnest of learning better habits regarding interaction with young women. “Love must be sincere,” and so clarity in discourse is a must (smile). We’ll see how I do…
Depending on what you like…the new Sean Watkins CD is pretty cool. It doesn’t sound like Nickel Creek. It’s more unique (ha, that rhymed!!). Give him a sample, though, you may like it!
I’m proud of you, David. And as your sister, I’ll be holding you accountable to this. (very big, “I’m glad you’re doing the right thing” smile)
my wedding synopsis: the wedding was lovely. the moms read a shakespearean sonnet and a passage from ecclesiastes, both of which suited the couple very nicely. i have never seen joe incapable of sarcasm, but on satruday he was. it was a short, small wedding, which is exactly what i imagined for them. i really enjoyed it.
I suspect that one of the reasons that we as women love movies like this is for exactly the reason that you mentioned. I think there is a part of us that longs to be treated with such delicacy and respect, and with measured words and thoughtfulness. We may act like we want to be just one of the guys, but there is a deep longing in our hearts for a love that honors us as women, and for a love that finds us as captivating as we would like to find ourselves to be.
It’s so true that in our casual society many lines are crossed which would more wisely be respected (in the “overly deep and personal” manner especially– emotional intimacy is not something we are warned about as much as physical intimacy). But it can seem a grey area, for aren’t meaningful relationships a good thing? Yet it would seem that in that “other era” interesting and valuable conversation could still flourish without arousing indecent/unhelpful emotions, attractions, and intimacy. So, I agree that this kind of propriety is one bygone cultural norm we would do well to examine.
so i will leave you a hidden comment now. thanks for yours by the way. i found it 🙂
about this movie. i have watched it a million times and i could not agree with you more. me and jenny have had numerous conversations about darcy and lizzie. i think that is why it is such a classic. things were so much purer then. if you pay great attention to the details. for example when darcy helped her into the carraige and the intimacy of their first touch.. and how he kinda had to stretch his hand out afterwards to really feel it. how awesome would it have been to live in a time like that? i mean really think about it…
i just realized i was writing you the longest comment ever.. so im going to stop now. because i could talk about this movie for hours.