The Rack

So today something quite terrible happened.  I was sitting quietly in a comfortable chair, reading the next few chapters of “The Silver Chair” and thoroughly engrossed in the adventures of young Prince Caspian who longed for the early days of innocence more than the strongholds of his wicked uncle.  Gentle music was playing from somewhere overhead, classic tunes from the eighties, nineties, and today…Phil Collins, Celine Dion, Mariah Carey…”We belong together…”

…when suddenly out of nowhere enormous gloved hands gripped me and I was slung down into a chair which far from fit my long lanky frame! The chair whirred and grumbled and bent out backwards, stretching me out as upon a very torturer’s rack.  A headrest thrust itself painfully in the nape of my neck, and now, my eyes turned upward, I saw only a great horrific light, unnatural and wan.  Wide-eyed, I watch as shadows crouched above me and my jaw felt forced open, wider and wider until long, metallic pointed objects might begin rooting about in my mouth!  (What a wicked world we live in.  The curse of the Fall, no doubt.)  A tiny vacuum drew away my breath along with every drop of moisture in my mouth, which now tasted of cotton in a Georgia sun.  Then, when worse seemed impossible, another tiny instrument prodded into my mouth and began boring holes into my very bone!  Grinding, grinding–the wicked thing even hummed while it worked!  Cruel.  Spittle and dust sprayed up into the loveless light.  And then, one last device inserted into the orifice, the gaping cavity now formed in my tooth was filled with some form of concrete–concrete, I tell you!  White concrete!

Cursed trip to the dentist.


They seek him here, they seek him there–
Those Frenchies seek him everywhere…
Is he in heaven? or is he in…hell? (gasp)
That demmed elusive…Pimpernel!

Odds fish, my dear…Sink me, mademoiselle, if I knew that, I’d be the toast of London, what!

Confused? (smile)


  1. That is horrifying. I say, don’t ever go back.


  2. erinness says:

    Oops. First off, I’ve commented on the blog of someone I don’t even know (in itself, suspicious). Second, I accidentally did it under my roommate’s name. Dang. That last comment is my responsibility.


  3. AubreeK says:

    i had my first cavity earlier this year. It wasn’t fun, but if I had to pick that over writing my thesis at the moment, I’d take the drill. 🙂 Hope you’re well!


  4. bluevern says:

    I used to love that movie


  5. “what is it you frenchies say? tou-che? you see i’m a bit of a poet, and you did not know it.””your’s, i believe.””ooooh, the english, and their stupid sense of fair play!””sink me, the lady’s a poet.”*grin*
    i believe i must venture forth to the dentist soon… and i must say that your little entry isn’t helping my dread. *cringe*


  6. lizapierce says:

    i am having a cavity filled in a short time. first one ever. you have filled me with fear now.


  7. PennyDaisy says:

    ick. i have to go in tomorrow. or, i guess that’s today (what time IS it?) just a cleaning, but of course they check for what might have to be DRILLED. i just hope that spot between two molars is holding up. doesn’t exactly sound like an easy place to fill. (“excuse me. drill hurts my ears and i’m terrified of needles…could you just hit me on the head really hard before you start? thanks.”)my friend’s drama kids did The Scarlet Pimpernel as a play last spring. rather quotable, eh?


  8. devonvk says:

    “They seek him here…they seek him there….those Frenchies seek him everywhere…..Is he in heaven….or is he in hell…that damned, elusive pimpernel.”


  9. i just love you…i thought something really happened to you!!!!…i sat up in my seat to read the rest of the story…i smiled very big when i understood what was really going on…and laught out loud at the end…my funny Ritter!!!…ohhhhhhhhhh…how i wish to wrap my arms around your waist in a sister/brother embrace…love you tons…concrete and all!!!(lol)


  10. Mattyaction says:

    Reminds me of Snead, saying “Oh yeah, the Scarlet Pimpernell…!” with that cheesy smile on his face while shaking his head back and forth.
    Oh and by the way, you didn’t trick me. If anything ever did happen to you like that, you would downplay it or probably not even mention it. Silly Dav.


  11. Anonymous says:

    Great movie!


  12. That’s the most horrifying description of a trip to the dentist I’ve ever heard!  Yuck!  Glad you survived.


  13. aleysh says:

    terrifying. the waiting rooms for places like that certainly can be decieving – who’d think: one minute you’re reading a great book in a cushy chair, the next you are experiencing some sort of creepy torture…
    (and yes, i did find the whole “pimpernel” thing a bit confusing.  ; ) nice work.) 


  14. PennyDaisy says:

    wait…Prince Caspian is in the Silver Chair? What the monkey?


  15. good call, pennydaisy…i’m reading a single-volume edition of all the chronicles, so i have no idea where i am (grin). perhaps i’m the one who’s confused!…


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